I was a cute, fun, 24 year old, mostly concerned with boyfriends, friends, NYC & Philadelphia clubs & fashion.

I drank regularly & did a fair amount of drugs, when I decided to go to a Yoga Teacher training.

The thing I remember astonished me the most-

(despite immediate submersion in an Internal salt water cleanse - using a catheter inserted through nostril & removed by mouth)

was that at this authentic Ashram style Yoga teacher training, I was expected to wake up at 5 am, for meditation.

Fast forward 2 decades-

seated at an Italian restaurant on my first Tinder date, with my first Tinder match, I now regularly wake at 5 am. Having evicted the father of my children, I'm still processing trauma, I find 5 am to be the one time of day I can usually expect a slice of optimism & the possibility of happiness.

My Tinder date says - 'So you're a yoga teacher,

do you know the 8 limbs of Yoga?'

Spontaneously, my mind rewinds through time, back to the very moment I closed the door at that Ashram.

The Guru had said: 'You'll never find what you're looking for, out there in the World.'

I vividly recall closing the large, heavy door and silently declaring:

"No.

I'm going to find my husband, my boyfriend, and have kids....."

At the time I was fully hypnotized. I didn't have Self awareness nor a relationship with Self to help cope with the Lack I felt within.

I felt Alone, inside myself.

I reached for everything I could, to fill me up. I was enamored by money, success, glamour.... and despite the discomfort I felt (that substances helped me mask)

I strove for others' approval. I pretended & faked Ease and obsessed about men & relationships. Which all seemed normal & appropriate for that time of Life.

My appearance was my highest priority & Value. I lived for the gym, I constantly strove to force my body into a particular shape.

I was sure I would be happy when I had kids ~ if nothing else.

Now here, at this small table, at this Italian restaurant, on this Tinder date, overseeing my entire journey, I thought to myself:

"That was chaos."

And resolved: "this time I'm gonna listen."

Tinder date introduces me to his Guru.

Again 5 am, meditating for 1 hour, two times a day. My Intuition amplified, creativity unleashed & I gain connection to the Infinite source of Love within.

I received my Spiritual Life Coaching certification, Teacher of advanced meditation, which brought together my rich background of bachelor's of art in Psychology, Teacher of Yoga, wellness enthusiasm, training in Ayurveda; nutrition, personal training, hypnosis & subconscious rewiring as well nervous system healing.

Yet when first prompted to "get know my Self" I protested:

"that is the last place I want to be."

I had only ever known Love came from the outside.

When I thought what I was on the outside, was who I was, I needed to get things to prove myself,

I desperately needed to accomplish and achieve, I based my value on other's perspectives. And I was in a downward spiral, which eventually did crash.

As I went within and began to develop a relationship with myself, know the true Self, Trust my connection to source & allow it, to ripple & pour out from me - my Upward spiral began.

In coaching I use meditation, guided visualizations, subconscious reprogramming, somatic exploration & shame reintegration, to help you:

receive the Insights within,

heal past trauma,

repattern your nervous system it supports you in your dreams,

love & heal your Inner child,

& to facilitate a constructive, loving relationship with all of your parts. (self)

I assist you in reaching your goals by giving you the tools, support, guidance &

encouragement,

to assist you as you find more & more of you power, clear obstacles

& stand less in your own way.

There was never anything wrong with you -

You're not broken, you don't need to change or be fixed.

There is only the Discovery of who you Actually Are.